The measure of what you think you are and what you are can be very different. This would have been okay if it meant you would never know that there was an imbalance. This is probably why they say ignorance is bliss. Sadly, people around you might let you in on it — mostly it’s your colleague and good friend Rob who might bring it to your attention. We don’t know whether it was on purpose or not. Shit hits the fan when you try to talk to your best friend Rishika about it and she says she knew all about it.
So, now that the problem has come out in the open, what can we do to make ourselves feel whole again? Because if you overthink as much as me, you know that in about a minute, you will reach “What is the purpose of all this?” or “What do I really know about myself?” This is the feeling you get in the beginning and in the end of the Da Vinci Code. Somewhere in between you think you know. But then the last chapter ruins everything you assumed to be true. Then you have a long discussion with a friend who has only seen the movie who kind of agrees with what you think happened. But, then you call a second friend and he says “What does he know, he hasn’t read the book!”
Now coming back to the point, assumption is the first problem. If I had not assumed in the beginning, life would have been much easier to navigate. The problem is, most of us assume anyways unless you are a guy who has been sticking to your meditation practice. At least that’s what the youtube videos say.
The second problem is we want to know what is real constantly. We are all searching for our truths. The problem is truth can be subjective.
The third problem is us understanding what the “usefulness of the mind” is considering the fact that your mind is just a tool that you have in your disposal just like you have legs to run if you were being chased or if you want to run a marathon or simply — to move from point A to point B.
The rational mind is a problem solver. Just like a calculator, when you enter in “1+1” it gives you the satisfying answer “2”. The rational mind is good at problem solving. We do not know when we input a calculation. Everything that you sense around you can move in as thoughts, the calculating mind of yours is looking for possible obstacles and is trying to solve them by giving you possible solutions constantly. Even when you do not ask for help.
Now, if the answer is right or wrong depends on the quality of the question and the chance of verifiability of a particular result. And now you think you know what is going on and so you are again better than what people perceive you to be. We are stuck in this loop together as usual. But this time, in between the theatrics of cringing and screaming inside your head, there might be spaces where you know why you are compulsively going into it.