I have made some great friends in my life. I have friends who have inspired me with their drive towards a certain path. I have friends who have taught me valuable life lessons. I have friends who make me smile. I have friends who have taught me from their flaws. I also have friends who I can talk to for a whole night about philosophy and life. I have some friends who always let me make up my mind when I am unsure and go to them for help. And then there is Mushrif. A friend that cannot be categorized.
Recently I have been hearing that you should have friends in the right circles to reach where you want to reach. I started thinking about it and it made perfect sense. Once I realized this seemed like the logical thing to do, I did what any sane person would do.
It was time for Review
I made a spreadsheet of all the friends I currently spend time with and tried to understand how they were leading me onto where I want to reach. There were a lot of people struggling in different areas of their life.
I thought of how I became friends with some of them. The best bunch of my friends always were people that ended up being my friend for no particular reason. There was nothing I wanted from them or nothing they wanted from me other than someone to talk to.
To reach where you want to reach, you do not need to see what ‘circle’ they belong to. You are the one who should decide to take action. Don’t blame your friends for not reaching where you want to.
Should I not avoid people who pull me down?
Some people might influence you in a negative way. They might say “It is not cool to do that” or try to convince you to change your path for their benefit. Toxic people do exist and it’s better to avoid them. But, there is also another way.
Be straight with them. Tell them what you don’t like and if they are true friends, they will keep the toxicity out of your relationship. But, having the courage to stand up to a friend who is pulling you down is hard.
But if you do realize the important thing in any friendship is being honest, you can get past your fear and be brave enough to tell your friend what you want.
Sometimes people around you can see things you are missing better than you. I have had friends who have told me when I was at my worst. It does feel horrible coming out of people who you for years, but, I have only gained more respect for such friends.
If you think what they said will change you to a better human being, do something about it. But, remember that you do not need to take a decision just because someone suggests it. You have to make decisions that you think is driving you to the right direction.
Make friends without a purpose
I have been lucky to find great friends. People who stick with you no matter what. People who respect you for what you want to do. People who love you no matter what you turn into. I am ever grateful for having the friends that I have.
I might not be in touch with some of them to the extent I prefer. But, they will always have a special place in my heart, no matter what.