Helping yourself vs pushing yourself

You have to understand that we have good days and bad days. Even the best people you know have bad days. Demanding yourself to have a perfect day every day of your life is simply absurd.

Have you seen or heard of someone who was always at their best on all of their days?

If the answer is no, how can you have such unrealistic expectations?

I truly understand that time is valuable and you cannot waste it. But, not being productive when you are not able to, cannot be termed as unproductive.

Time is a dimension we added to life for our convenience. You are supposed to be using it to your advantage and not the other way round! If you want to maximize the time in your life, you should start helping yourself more instead of simply pushing yourself when you don’t want to do something. Once you start doing that, automatically, you will start doing what is ‘right’ and whatever you do will be worth your time.

You have to have a balance But balance in life does not just mean having a work life balance.

Kevin’s example

On a certain day, Kevin was feeling great and in a state of flow. I was being him work and he was super focussed and in a state of flow. When it was time for everyone to go, he didn’t want to leave yet as he wanted to get some more work done.

He told me ” I do want to get some more work done as I feel like more ideas are flowing through me, but, I have to go home now.”

I asked him “If this is what you want to do, why are you leaving?”

He answered ” I have heard that we need to have a work life balance. So, I better go home now!”

Do you think Kevin did the right thing by going home? Wisdom is not blindly following other’s principles. It is following the principles that work for you.

If you feel like working for extra hours on a certain day, you should do that. Some other days if you feel like spending more time with your family, you should try and do that. It’s about an overall balance. Some days you are in a flow and some days you are dragging your days. The best way to identify if it is your day to maximize or take it easy, is to identify when you are going to have a good day or a bad day at the earliest point of the day.

How to identify if you are having a bad day?

When you get up in bed and you are feeling very lethargic and are considering whether to go to work or not, you most likely might be having a bad day.

When you are having a bad day, you tend to be in the mood to constantly ask yourself one question repeatedly to yourself. The question might take many forms. But, you will see that the basic question is always “What do I get in return?”

So, when you are in bed and you feel groggy, you have to ask yourself “Why should I get up and go to work today.” If a part of you answers “Because I do not have sick days to spare!”, you will get up and push yourself to work.

If you manage through your day at work and come back home exhausted and your wife gives you a call asking “Can you help me out with something?” , You will first ask her “Umm, why do you need to do that today!” And then if you are convinced to help her out, you set expectations in your head to get something back in return.

How do I maximize my good days

Every day does not need to be exactly the same. Instead of adding variety to just what food you eat or what TV show you watch in a day, why don’t you actually add variety to the actions that count!

. If you feel great on a certain day, use that to your advantage to add an extra set during your exercise in the morning. Add a few more tasks you want to do at work. Find more active ways to spend the day.

If your body is in the mood to help you achieve more for the day. Do not stop yourself. Try to help yourself achieve more

How do I reduce the impact of a bad day?

We tend to push and grind as we have been thought that we need to work hard in order to achieve something. But, when you are not at your best. Try to help yourself to make it through the things you want to do.

You might be feeling great on a certain day and at the end of the day you plan you will try to do more the next day morning. But, the next day morning when you get up, you are just not in the same state. Be aware of that and acknowledge the fact. If you can put off things that you thought you could do the day before because you were having a good day, just allow yourself some leeway to push some tasks to tomorrow.

Although this seems counterintuitive, I have noticed that this has made a big impact in my life. In fact, if you do not do this, you will have more bad days in your life compared to good days as your will exhaust your self out.

People around you might not feel you are exhausted, but, you know it is true. People like this will end up doing something drastically bad for themselves in some other area of their life.

If you don’t help yourself, then who will?

Treat yourself like how you would treat someone you care about. Do not hate yourself for not being able to push yourself to what your expectations were. After all, the expectations were set by you in the first place. You must have simply miscalculated.

You are the one who sets expectations

And also the one who gets disappointed

Why don’t you simply recognize that you miscalculated and move on?

Admit it. Be happy for what you were able to do and move on as fast as possible. If you know the reason behind why the day was bad, always try to make it a point to avoid that from happening again if you can.

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