Before getting married to my wife, one of the things I asked her was ” If a situation comes up where your mom needs you and I need you at the same time, who would you choose?”
She answered “Mom” and tried to explain why. I stopped her as I was already satisfied with her answer. Actually, this was a trick question. If the one you love does not value the person who has stood by them till they became an adult and is ready to choose you over her mom, do you think she has even a pinch of loyalty?
Respect your dad and love your mom attitude
I always respected my Dad and as a well mannered Indian guy, I used to always give him a lot of respect. But, when my Mom said something seriously, I always treated it less important. “She always rants, she will forget about it,” I thought.
You might sincerely love both your parents. But, it is sad that we generally tend to respect what our dad’s views are and just nod our heads at our moms.
I used to always be like this. When I was a teenager, I used to make it a point to always give my Mom sarcastic responses to whatever she asks. There were many instances where I simply insulted her to get a laugh out of it in front of other family or friends. None of this was done out of hatred. It was done out of purely having fun at the time. I know my Mom has forgiven me and doesn’t even think about it now, but, I would like to apologize here for all the pointless jokes I made out of her.
“How stupid was I?”, I think sometimes.
Mom should have taught me things better
There are many scars we have from our childhood. Some might have it rough compared to others. Generally, the mistakes we make and the faults we have are blamed on our parents. “Why didn’t Mom tell me about that earlier? I would have turned out to be better!”
The whole reason why you are able to think the way you can right now is influenced by your mom. You might have learned from the good things she taught you and the bad, the things she didn’t say and the things she repeated over and over again.
But, as long as you turned out to be an independent thinker, stop blaming your Mom or anyone else around you for some faults in you. All of us are a ‘work in progress’. None of us will reach the level of perfection that we hope for. We can just get better than yesterday. But, if you have the hope to reach perfection, consider yourself normal. This is how we evolve into a better being.
Give her a chance if she is wrong
Be truthful to her. Sometimes, your Mom might not like it, but it is better to be truthful than give her a false belief that you agree with her. People tend to do this with friends and lovers, but when it comes to their parents they think that rule does not apply.
If your Mom makes mistakes, give her a chance, listen to her, be there for her. If she was patient with you and taught you everything about the world, how can you be so selfish?
Moms vs Mom in laws
People say horror stories of how it is super annoying to have to take care of both your Mom and your Mom in law. If you think there are many faults with your Mom in law, I want you to remember that the love of your life has turned out to be the perfect person because of the way your Mom in law brought her up.
And if your Mom really showed you love, treat your Mom in law like your Mom. Love her like your Mom. Be happy that you will be loved by both Moms and not just complaints from both of them. People like to focus on the problems. I think, life is too short for thinking about the problems.